This morning I was on my hands and knees, elbow deep in human fluids, garbage and hairs I was afraid to look at too closely; blech. Cleaning the bathroom. Finally. After around, I dunno…7…4…just, way too long. I’m afraid to admit that it’s been hard getting motivated lately. I fell off the wagon. It’s official.
My room fell in disrepair. Clutter was suffocating me. Carbs and sugars reappeared where they were once exiled. I wonder, is the ‘no sugar added’ ice cream still better for you if you eat double the normal serving size since you feel less guilty? It was time for some introspection. And a bowl of ice cream.
But no, really. It was a little much, I admit. I felt that my relationships with my family suffered. We were all rather depressed and grumpy. Maybe it was the last throws of cabin fever, while we anxiously waited for April to even it’s temper and give us some sunshine. Either way, I was feeling off. We all were.
But back to the toilet. This was first thing in the morning, after my mother arrived to pick up my brother and take him off to do constructive things. When they left I was so ashamed of my bathroom, because what if she had seen it? I went into a cleaning frenzy. Still, it was not a frenzy first filled with tenacity or fervor. Mostly it was filled with cursing under my breath. And as I bent down to do my most hated chore, cleaning the toilet, I paused. I realized that I was thinking negatively and, as I’m in the habit of doing lately, I challenged this thinking and tried my best to overcome it.
I attempted, with every cell of my being, to clean the toilet gratefully. In doing so I was so grateful to have this opportunity to finally act on something that was holding me back. It had acted as stagnant energy that, day by day, made it something harder and harder to face. But, when we force ourselves to give this energy a push. When we make that choice, finally. The gears start moving and we roll to action. By that point it’s actually harder to stop moving forward.
And so my toilet is clean. For now anyways. I urge you to look within and determine what your esoterically symbolic “toilet” might be! I challenge you to take one step towards removing stagnant energy from your life and making room for something new to grace it! I challenge you to live in the moment and be grateful for every, little moment. Even a moment spent on our hands and knees, cleaning a dirty toilet.