~My Easter holiday was a time filled with gaining a new understanding about myself, my situation and where I’m headed in my career and on my spiritual journey. I’ve been in the midst of a block which has been hovering in front of my third eye and, as a result, making it very hard to psychically function. Almost like a “psychic cold” a block distracts you from achieving your full potential and has many telling symptoms. You may feel disconnected from things you are normally passionate about, plagued by feelings of doubt and lack of confidence. It might be hard to focus on everyday tasks and responsibilities. It might even be hard to get out of bed and face your day.
We hear these symptoms and might see them as many potential issues from depression to just being plain ol’ burnt out, to everything in between. I’m here to say, it’s time to look at things very differently. We are being prompted, moved, pushed to do so. My experience tells me that something from my past (this lifetime, or older lifetimes) is popping it’s ugly head out of the water and won’t stop until I address it. It’s my belief that people, often feeling this way, are guided by society to a doctor who will diagnose them and prescribe them with something to make it all “better” and further perpetuating this cycle of self-disconnectedness. We will never be able to make it “all better” until we can look at ourselves honestly and make an effort to change something in our life that is holding us back. Sometimes we need help to see these things.
Just like a mosaic painting, when we stand up close to it, the image is indiscernible. It’s only when we remove ourselves from the situation, or step back, that we see the “big picture” and can now have a clearer understanding of the mechanics involved to reach the whole. The outcome.
Does it mean this process will be easy? Not at all. It’s never easy to force ourselves to face the things we’ve been trying to hide from for as long as we can remember. It’s uncomfortable and sometimes, often, we feel out of our element. But the rewards are ever present. The tiny miracles that sprinkle our day. Sometimes they are so subtle they go unrecognized and people falsely feel they are alone.
When we come to this conclusion what happens? We may live in fear of this fact, hiding from choices and decisions that could bring us happiness, but are to frightening to face “alone.” We might act out by creating unnecessary drama around us, that way there is always a distraction and nobody can look too closely at us. They might see our fear. They might see our weakness. They might exploit it and make it worse. So we try to live our lives hiding from our fear and being in denial about our fear.
As I head further and further down this path, it get’s impossible to turn back. Almost like I keep saying to myself…”I don’t know where this trail is going, or if it ever will even end. I don’t know if I’m going North, South, East or West. I don’t know if it will come full circle. All I can do is trust…and besides, I’ve come too far to turn back now!”
Saturday night, a dear friend dropped by and, despite our very different views of the world, he always has insight to offer me. Sometimes, I realize, I need to hear the hard things. The painful things. Sometimes I need brutal honesty to help me move forward and honestly look at the situation. I was awful proud of myself for being a stronger soul than I’ve been in the past and taking this advice in its entirety and shunning denial, to the best of my ability, so that I can face my own issues. But, as much as I want to put a fresh coat of paint on this somewhat weathered situation and pretend it’s all okay, I realize that only time will heal me, and these issues. As long as I am taking one step in the direction of change and I am willing to do the work, I will get what I’m set out to accomplish. And you will too.
If you are feeling completely alone, take three DEEP breaths and then ask for a sign from the divine that you are supported and loved! Now…wait. Don’t obsess, don’t over-think, over-feel or over-act, just wait and be open. you won’t be disappointed.