So, I’ve taken an unannounced hiatus. I’m sorry. The good news is, I’ve been on a spiritual journey. To be honest it wasn’t very fun at times. Like Frodo, I went from the safety and comfort of my home into the darkest, most perilous parts of my soul, and back again. But journeys like that change you forever. Home is never quite the same again.
It’s hard to put into words really. Nothing exceptionally dramatic occurred over my time away but I struggled with some depression, which I know was indication of a block, or series of them, passing. I definitely released some pain from my past through focusing on memories and how these instances helped me to form beliefs which shape my current reality.
For example I had been struggling with a lot of issues regarding my self-image. I know it sounds cliché because so many deal with the same issues every day, but overused as this topic may be, these beliefs truly made every day difficult. I spent my time worrying about what judgments might be had about what I was wearing, my hair, my body. I couldn’t look in the mirror without subtly bashing myself for not mirroring the images of beauty that society idolizes. I will never look like Lady Gaga or Angelina Jolie but I will always look like Brittany and that’s what I had to come to terms with.
These structures society builds for us are like cages to our personal expression. If we are too concerned about not fitting this image of perfection, then when will we have time to discover who we really are? All can concern ourselves with is emulating what “people” want us to be and in this process we lose sight of the trap being laid for us!
We have to change our mindset. Changing this mode of thinking however is not easy. It takes an effort to be consciously aware of our thoughts, even thoughts going on under the surface of our normal internal dialogue, so that we can acknowledge their existence, how they affect us, and can change them to more positive thought processes. When we do this, we “level up” (so to say) and reach the next, slightly clearer level of perception. But every faulty belief we hunt down, seek out and pull up by the roots leaves an empty space which needs to be filled.
We are forced to fill it by contemplating how the previous set of beliefs held us back and what circumstances helped to form them and in the process we discover certain “truths.” These truths are inherent and if we are honest with ourselves and are always under the surface of each situation, waiting to be uncovered that you might find and embrace your own divinity and perfection.
Fill this space with new, more fluid beliefs. Beliefs that raise us upwards, not drag us down. This blank space is a new canvas waiting to be filled with your amazing potential! But it’s important that we remain ever open to a new belief coming in to replace that one. Like a software update, the structure you already have may serve you well enough, but sometimes flaws are found and patches and updates are installed and this makes your utilization of that program smoother and more in line with your ultimate purpose. And sometimes, it takes getting used to, there are challenges to adapting to these changes, but ultimately, by remaining open to these “updates” we say that if another thought comes to us, another perspective or mode of thinking, we are willing to see it, objectively and not allow our current belief structures to leave us defensive of what we have worked so hard to obtain and build.
We must always be prepared to rip these structures down and build up again from the ground level. Occasionally infuriating? Most definitely! But in this process you develop patience for yourself and this patience bleeds into other areas of your life with surprising speed. You develop a need to strive for perfection in all that you do. Not in a confining way, because you also do not hold your definition of perfection to the same mold that most of society does. People take notice of this approach. It intrigues them and makes them curious about why or how it seems to work. It makes them wonder if it’s worth it. They can’t stop wondering until they finally take a deep breath and give it a try themselves.
Have you watched a child learn to walk? At first each step is cautious. Maybe they stand up and it looks like they may step, but instead they fall to their knees and crawl because it’s safer, it’s what they are accustomed to. But soon they know they are capable of more, and they know they can’t continue to fear it and you see them go for it and they take those first brave steps! Oh, and the look of triumph on their face as they continue to gain confidence! They move from stumbling, halting steps to confident strides, and before you know it, they are sprinting!
If only we could remember what it was like to learn to walk for the first time. This was our first lesson in understanding that nothing comes easy, but what you have to gain from the experience is insurmountable! Imagine if you could only crawl where you needed to go? Imagine this was happening to you as an adult! And imagine discovering that all this time you were capable of walking. The world would open up to you! You would discover how much this has changed your life for the positive! It might not be easy to start.
You may fumble, stumble and fall. It will be hard, but you can do it! Discover what waits for you; don’t give into a pattern just because it’s easier. Discover the satisfaction which comes from exploring your patterns and beliefs and free yourself from your invisible cage.
Now that you notice it, it might not be so invisible. This is a blessing. Break free and be the best you that you can be! I will always be here to support you. ❤