You know, there have been a lot of tragedies occurring around me lately and it has me wondering to myself, why?
I believe that everything happens for a reason and I give my faith fully to this belief. This can be hard when I am going through a painful or trying period but no matter how mad, belligerent or willing to give up I am, I always remember that grain of truth. EVERYTHING happens for a reason.
This drives my husband crazy. He wants to know what lesson stubbing his toe repeatedly holds for him. Maybe a need to exercise self-patience, understanding or perhaps it is meant to be a bold whap to the psyche reminding him to live in the now?
But when something really horrible happens to us, or someone we love, we ask “what have I done to deserve this?” and we question whether our “God” is just. I have had many of these moments, drenched in self-pity and crying to the heavens to spare me my suffering. Looking back, without that suffering, I would not have pieced together this woman standing before you. I’m a bit ragged around the edges, sometimes I have a temper. Okay, often I do. I have been known to be impatient and sometimes, I let the dishes sit in the sink. All. Damn. Day.
But I know my weaknesses and I know my strengths and I live consciously attempting to grow with every choice I’m offered. I reach upwards and evaluate my feelings and understand their roots so that I can better release them and move on. I am optimistic, idealistic and full of love. I believe in the goodness of Mankind and try to fill every interaction with as much sincerity as possible. To me, the past is in the past and, like an old photo album, I may pull it out once in a while and peruse the memories but often, what is over is over. How can I learn from it? Okay great, moving on.
It’s normal to have these feelings of “why me?” but something I need to learn is to pull myself up, whilst the weight of this lifetime’s conditioning weighs me down simultaneously. I must change (or at least become conscious of) my trained reactions to things that are “bad.” It’s a slow and arduous process and quite frankly, there are times I want to cross my arms shake my head and scream “NOOO!” just as my four year son old does.
Sometimes I don’t want to face my weaknesses. Sometimes I just want something to be easy for a change. Sometimes, I make the mistake of believing I have evolved and I am no longer a slave to these vices and I puff my chest up real big and start spouting off advice to everyone around me. And then that advice comes back to bite me in the ass…ouch!
Now, I must give myself some credit, because I have evolved but a person who thinks they know everything, is far from wise. For the wise person knows, there is always something to learn. But the wise person also practices self-forgiveness and love religiously. And so I patch up my ego, pull myself together, claim responsibility for my mistakes and move forward.
What are your lessons? What “bad” things happen to you over and over? These things that force uncomfortable feelings on us, they are not “bad”- really they are blessings in disguise for they often grant us what we’ve been wishing for. The problem is that when we wish, we assume our problems should be easily resolved, without much effort. You know “Bibbity bobbity boo!” and all that good stuff. (Gee Disney, thanks for that!) 🙂
Maybe there is no good or bad. Maybe the next time something challenging happens to you, you will stop and ask yourself “why?” and rather than respond in the way you have become accustomed to responding. Maybe you could drop the defenses and be honest with yourself. It’s hard to admit your own weaknesses sometimes. It’s especially hard when someone else points them out for you.
In the past, when this happened to me, I would just throw hate at this person. I would ask, who do they think they are, showing me my weaknesses? I would turn from them and I would close them out.
Now, I thank them. They helped me see something about myself that I didn’t see on my own. And yes, it still hurts. Oh, it hurts so good! Okay, that might be going a bit far, but you know what I mean. At least I know I am being shown an opportunity to grow… or to fall back into my comfortable little rut.
Well, we tell ourselves its comfortable, but it’s not. It’s only familiar. Life is change and the sooner you change your perspective enough to accept that fully, the happier you will be.
But really, Wesley says it best:
And as crazy as it sounds, the next time you feel pain, or transformation graces your path, try to embrace it for a change! Growing can be painful, but you will be happy for it tomorrow. Believe you me. And besides, why remain a caterpillar when your beautiful wings wait just around the corner?